More Ponderisms

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person  who drives a racing car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

What hair colour do they put on the driver’s licences of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

No one ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went bonkers.

Ever wonder about those people who spend £2.00 apiece on those  little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

OK … so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and  the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

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15 responses to “More Ponderisms

  1. why are they called manicures if they’re for women?

  2. can police get speeding tickets?

  3. how come we still having animals that lived when the dinosaurs were still around?

  4. if worms have 2 heads on both sides, how do they reproduce?

  5. Why is it that i cant tie a tie sitting down, but once i stand up, its perfect?

  6. is milk good or bad for you?

  7. what about water

  8. Why is it that you drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?

  9. if a girl with read hair is called a red head, shouldn’t a girl with black hair be called a black head?

  10. if your guest says “that is funny” why don’t they laugh

  11. aren’t animal crackers, cookies?
    why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    If your body is retaining water why does the doctor tell you to drink it?

  12. my 15 yr old said this one to me other day “If a liar says his a lair do you believe him” I thought this was a great one

  13. Oops Sorry that was meant say If a liar says his a liar do you believe him

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